Antonia’s Top Ten Tuesday: Funny Book Quotes

Top Ten Tuesday was created by The Broke and the Bookish in June of 2010 and was moved to That Artsy Reader Girl in January of 2018. It was born of a love of lists, a love of books, and a desire to bring bookish friends together. This week’s topic is Book Quotes that Fit X Theme. This week I’m going with quotes that make me laugh.

“You are the Daughter of Death,” hissed Aru. “You don’t walk into a telephone pole because of a boy.”
-Roshani Chokshi, Aru Shah and the End of Time

“I’m not going to wear a red dress,” she said. “It would look stunning, My Lady,” she called. She spoke to the bubbles gathered on the surface of the water. “If there’s anyone I wish to stun at dinner, I’ll hit him in the face.”
-Kristin Cashore, Graceling

“That was so completely unfair that I told Tantalus to go chase a donut, which didn’t help his mood.”
-Rick Riordan, The Sea of Monsters

“Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.”
-Andy Weir, The Martian

“I’m talking to the House. Which is a considerable step up from talking to you.” “It doesn’t talk back.” “Exactly.”
-Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Silver Flames

“Is this an ‘I’m sorry I tried to assassinate you’ tea ceremony?”
-Julie Kagawa, Soul of the Sword

“I’d be offended if I could be offended,” he said. “Maybe I should start calling you a cow, since you have four limbs, are made of meat, and have rudimentary biological mental capacities.”
-Brandon Sanderson, Skyward

“There is a proverbial saying chiefly concerned with warning against too closely calculating the numerical value of un-hatched chicks.”
-Neil Gaiman, Stardust

“I’m sure I’ll feel much more grateful when I find a guy who thinks complex wiring in a girl is a turn-on.”
-Marissa Meyer, Cinder

“Dear Mal, I haven’t heard from you, so I assume you’ve met and married a volcra and that you’re living comfortably on the Shadow Fold, where you have neither light nor paper to write. Or, possibly, your new bride ate both your hands.”
-Leigh Bardugo, Shadow and Bone

What book quotes do you love?