Antonia’s Top Ten Tuesday: Funny Book Quotes

Top Ten Tuesday was created by The Broke and the Bookish in June of 2010 and was moved to That Artsy Reader Girl in January of 2018. It was born of a love of lists, a love of books, and a desire to bring bookish friends together. This week’s topic is Book Quotes that Fit X Theme. This week I’m going with quotes that make me laugh.

“You are the Daughter of Death,” hissed Aru. “You don’t walk into a telephone pole because of a boy.”
-Roshani Chokshi, Aru Shah and the End of Time

“I’m not going to wear a red dress,” she said. “It would look stunning, My Lady,” she called. She spoke to the bubbles gathered on the surface of the water. “If there’s anyone I wish to stun at dinner, I’ll hit him in the face.”
-Kristin Cashore, Graceling

“That was so completely unfair that I told Tantalus to go chase a donut, which didn’t help his mood.”
-Rick Riordan, The Sea of Monsters

“Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.”
-Andy Weir, The Martian

“I’m talking to the House. Which is a considerable step up from talking to you.” “It doesn’t talk back.” “Exactly.”
-Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Silver Flames

“Is this an ‘I’m sorry I tried to assassinate you’ tea ceremony?”
-Julie Kagawa, Soul of the Sword

“I’d be offended if I could be offended,” he said. “Maybe I should start calling you a cow, since you have four limbs, are made of meat, and have rudimentary biological mental capacities.”
-Brandon Sanderson, Skyward

“There is a proverbial saying chiefly concerned with warning against too closely calculating the numerical value of un-hatched chicks.”
-Neil Gaiman, Stardust

“I’m sure I’ll feel much more grateful when I find a guy who thinks complex wiring in a girl is a turn-on.”
-Marissa Meyer, Cinder

“Dear Mal, I haven’t heard from you, so I assume you’ve met and married a volcra and that you’re living comfortably on the Shadow Fold, where you have neither light nor paper to write. Or, possibly, your new bride ate both your hands.”
-Leigh Bardugo, Shadow and Bone

What book quotes do you love?

Amanda’s Top Ten Tuesday – Romantic Book Quotes

Top Ten Tuesday was created by The Broke and the Bookish in June of 2010 and was moved to That Artsy Reader Girl in January of 2018. It was born of a love of lists, a love of books, and a desire to bring bookish friends together. Each week we talk about our top ten with a different topic provided by Jana. This week’s topic is the ten book quotes that fit a romantic theme.

“You need to understand that I will do anything and everything for my wife.” Casteel’s gaze latched on to his father‘s. “No risk is too great, nor is anything too sacred. Because she is my everything. There is nothing greater than her, and I do mean nothing.”
― Jennifer L. Armentrout, The ​Crown of Gilded Bones

“If the story of your life were a book, I’d carry it with me across the world. I’d read it every night. And whenever I reached the ending of what had been shared with me, I’d open it to the first page and begin reading it again.”
― Danielle L. Jensen, Gilded Serpent

“What he was saying-the things he told me-was his way of showing me he trusted me. It was also his way of giving me the match. If I wanted to, I could burn him down. But if we were going to do this, I would have to be his safe harbor and he would have to be mine.”
― Adrienne Young, Fable

“Maybe Plato knew something we didn’t. Or maybe the gods did, when they split us in half and left us to reclaim our missing fragments.”
― Morgan Rogers, Honey Girl

“It would be easier, he knew, if he had never loved her. And yet, given the choice, he would do it again, even knowing what was to come. He would lose her a thousand times over if it meant he would first have the chance to love her.”
― Claire Legrand, Lightbringer

“Being with you makes me feel like I deserve to be loved. Like I’m less of a monster. Like if you trust me that means I can trust myself.”
― Moïra Fowley-Doyle, Spellbook of the Lost and Found

“Yeah. Like every moment you’re with them, your head is spinning and you cant catch your breath and you just know that this person is changing your life for the better. Someone who challenges you to be better.”
― Rachel Lynn Solomon, Today Tonight Tomorrow

“I don’t believe in fairy tales and love at first sight and all that, but for just a second, I think this girl and those eyes and the way her freckles dot the entire expanse of her face are cute enough to make a believer out of me.”
― Leah Johnson, You Should See Me in a Crown

“One day, you’ll look up and I’ll be there. And you’ll know it’s me because our souls will recognize each other.”
― Julie Kagawa, Night of the Dragon

“The truth,” said Amar, taking a step closer to me, “is that you look neither lovely nor demure. You look like edges and thunderstorms. And I would not have you any other way.”
― Roshani Chokshi, The Star-Touched Queen

What theme did you pick this month?

Keep on reading lovelies, Amanda.